


Red Eyed Monster

by Loudest_Voice



Category: Naruto
Genre: Child Soldiers, Chuunin Exams, Crows, Disfigurement, Foxes, Gen, Horror, Illusions, Original Character Death(s), Survival of the Fittest, Violence against Children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-05
Updated: 2012-10-29
Packaged: 2017-11-08 22:18:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/448143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loudest_Voice/pseuds/Loudest_Voice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That year's Chuunin Exams were a nightmare. Literally. One of the kids favored genjutsu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When I first started writing about a year ago, I promised myself I wouldn't start ten stories at once. How the mighty have fallen . . . Still, I remain confident that I'll finish this series. 
> 
> Set seven years before _The Traitor and the Nine Tails_. You don't have to read that story (or any of the other side stories in this series) to get this.

It would be an easy mission. Kakashi hadn't been particularly nervous for his _own_ Chuunin Exams, and the ones on schedule would be a significantly simpler set. There wouldn't even be a lengthy, overly dramatic inter-village pissing contest disguised as a "friendly" tournament to worry about. He was probably the only ANBU captain who hadn't whined when Ibiki sauntered into ANBU Headquarters waving a missive from Hokage-sama himself and demanding ANBU squads for a genin babysitting project.

"I want you to keep an eye on Fugaku Uchiha's kid," Ibiki had told Kakashi after dismissing all the other Captains selected for the job. "Reports about his skills are a little absurd but . . ."

" _Life's_ pretty absurd," Kakashi had finished for him.

Ibiki's face had twisted into a tired scowl that'd looked harsher than it should have thanks to the still tender scars marring his stern face. "Watch the brat," he'd said before handing Kakashi a scroll. "Gauge how accurate these stats are and then construct a psych eval."

Kakashi had plastered on a grin wide enough to be noticeable through his mask and disappeared to read Itachi Uchiha's mission reports, exam scores, and various evaluations. His stomach sank as soon as he saw the kid's age and the name of his sensei. Kazue (jonin for twelve years, foraging and reconnaissance specialist, overall skills ranking of twenty-seven, blond and brown eyed) was a no non-sense, middle-aged kunoichi who had no interest in glory. She was unexceptional in every way besides her ability to train genin (she'd already graduated three different teams) and wouldn't have nominated a ten-year-old boy for promotion unless he was an exceptional ninja.

Exceptional ninja were mostly insane, and the ones who weren't were raging assholes.

With a mental sigh, Kakashi looked down from his tree branch and scanned the batch of Leaf genin who'd gathered in front of The Forest of Death. Most of them looked to like they were in their early-to-mid teens and only a handful looked like they were old enough to legally drink. Well . . . technically they _all_ could legally drink, but most of them looked like the children they actually were. There was a fog of apprehensive excitement about them, like they were about to enter a dark cave that they were certain was safe, not the most dangerous training area in Konoha. They didn't seem to realize that the day was going bad for them _already_.

Thick clouds were blocking the sun and a humid blanket made the air muggy and heavy. Even if a storm never bothered to come, recent rains had made the ground slippery, which in turn would make it even harder to spot the smaller snakes that made The Forest of Death their home. The light fog and gray clouds made the early morning seem like an early evening, and they weren't even under The Forest of Death's heavy canopy yet. And on a clear day, Konoha's Forty-Fourth Training Ground boasted such a dense roof of trees that daylight never seemed to break past them.

Strangely enough, the thin child standing beside Kazue resembled the older ones. He was dressed in black and standing still, so much so that someone who wasn't looking for him would dismiss him after an automatic thought about how different ( _smaller, younger_ ) he was from everyone else in the group. Kakashi stared at him for a few moments and decided to stand closer to his team. He was supposed to be evaluating the kid after all.

". . . I don't know the details of this particular test," Kazue was telling her genin when Kakashi casually approached the two ANBU leaning against a tree nearby them, "but I know what the higher-ups look for. This will be a psychological evaluation as much as a test of your skills."

 _Well yes,_ thought Kakashi, nodding at his comrades. _The kids ought to know that much already._

"We _know_ , sensei," said the taller, red-haired boy standing by her left side. "Konoha doesn't want psychos in its ranks so don't go after your teammates if you can help it."

 _You must be Mineo_ , though Kakashi. _Sixteen, medium-build, learning Strong Fist, poor chakra control, already failed one round of Chuunin Exams, the only one of Kazue's students who'd hand't been promoted on his first try_.

"Don't be so obnoxious," ordered the willowy girl _(Miho, age fourteen, brown hair and hazel eyes, short, has a couple of Fire jutsu under her belt, graduated the Academy a year after Itachi)_ standing right next to him. "You already messed up this test once."

Kazue stopped Mineo's angry retort with a warning look, then looked down at Itachi's dark eyes, "You're a smart kid," she started, "but you're not much of a fighter. Do your best in there, but don't risk your life. There'll be other Chuunin Exams."

 _Strange,_ thought Kakashi. _She's the one who nominated the boy in the first place._

"Don't be concerned for me, Kazue-sensei," Itachi told her ( _even, androgynous voice; kid hasn't even started puberty yet_ ). "I can take care of myself."

_I'm sure you can._

"All right, genin dipshits!" boomed Tiger from his spot at the entrance of The Forest of Death. "The second and final part of these exams is about to begin. Behind me," he waved at the tall trees bordering The Forest of Death, "is hell. Snakes, tigers, foxes, more snakes, poisonous insects, poisonous berries, poisonous _everything_ , snakes, humidity, _bad_ smells, _spiders_ , heat, cold, and did I mention lots of fucking snakes?"

"You did," said the ANBU standing behind him.

One of the genin chortled, which made Tiger whirl to his left and fix the round holes of his mask on him. "Is something fucking funny?"

"N-no sir," stuttered a kid Kakashi couldn't see.

Tiger turned his attention back on the whole crowd. "I, on the other hand," he started, "think there's something hilarious about this situation. Here you all are - with your little kunai, handful of chakra tricks, no claws, dull teeth, weak muscles, and slow limbs - thinking you can wander into Training Grounds Forty-Four and survive. You don't know what you're getting yourselves into!"

_Well, the ones who're repeating the test probably are,_ though Kakashi. Tiger was laying it on a bit thick. 

"Everything in The Forest of Death exist for the sole purpose of murdering everything _else_ in The Forest of Death!" continued Tiger, "and every chuunin in Konoha must prove that they can go in there and come back in one piece!"

The parameters of the test were described in equally dramatic terms. All candidates must go into the Forest and survive for as long as they could. ANBU would be wondering the Forest, but they would only intervene if the candidates asked for help. Anyone who asked for help would automatically fail (a lie, of course, but they needed a way to see which kids were mature enough not to risk their lives needlessly). The test would end when all candidates had either died or requested help. A reward would be given to the genin who managed to last longest without asking for help. One genin. Eventually, team members would have to compete against each other (Kakashi hated the set up, especially because they were looking for kids with leadership skills, but he wasn't the one who'd designed the test so whatever).

"And finally," Tiger continued when most of the kids had braced themselves to start the test, "you must surrender everything you're carrying but your clothes."

Predictably, that sentence resulted in a eruption of complaints. Kakashi glanced at Itachi and wondered who had taught him to keep his expression so pleasantly blank. His equanimity went beyond what was normal for a boy his age, even if he _was_ a clan brat. There were a handful of other kids wearing the dark colors and white-red fan of the Uchiha clan, all older than the Uchiha heir. And they all looked downright _angry_ at Tiger's last order.

"This is unfair for those of us who specialized in shurikenjutsu!" one of them shouted.

Mineo chuckled. "It looks like your cousin's afraid to be separated from his shiny metal stars," he told his Itachi.

Miho slapped his shoulder, but Itachi didn't even look at him.

"Be grateful we're not sending you in there _naked_ ," bellowed Tiger, effectively silencing all the genin. "It'd put you in even ground with all the critters in The Forest of Death. You may not have fur, claws, or sharp teeth, but _theoretically_ , you all have _brains_. Let's see you use them." He ordered the genin to make a line and watched as three ANBU confiscated everything they were carrying.

Most of the kids surrendered their weapons and rations with stony looks on their faces. A few were caught trying to smuggle in senbon, wire strings, and other small tools, and were dismissed on the spot.

"If you're going to try and break the rules," Tiger said, "make sure you don't get caught."

Kakashi wondered if any of the kids would manage to smuggle something or, to be more accurate, would manage to think of a clever enough way to smuggle something that Tiger and his cronies would pretend not to notice. Konoha needed smugglers after all, but it was a difficult skill to test outside the field. _Is this the_ real _second test?_ wondered Kakashi as he subtly moved closer to Kazue's kids.

Like a lot of Uchiha, Itachi was partial to shurikenjutsu. How would he handle losing his things? His teammates (Mineo wearing a defiant scowl and Miho a tentative smile) surrendered their basic weapon packs and excellent rations without any complaints. _Kazue taught them to prioritize water supplies,_ thought Kakashi as he watched Itachi approach the ANBU collecting their stuff. _What would_ you _have taken with you?_ Pretty much the same thing as his teammates, it turned out. Except . . .

"These are only bird seeds," Itachi told the ANBU. Oddly enough, he sounded almost pleading.

"Hand them over or forfeit," said the ANBU. Despite the seemingly harsh words, her tone was gentle.

 _Don't want to send someone so young into The Forest of Death, do you Wolf?_ thought Kakashi as the kid surrendered the surprisingly childish bag of seeds. It was bright orange and had a drawing of a cartoonish white dove feeding her chicks at its center. A small bag, yes, but soldier pills might fit in there. Maybe Itachi was trying to cultivate an air of helpless innocence to sneak in some drugs? Probably not. He handed over the little bag with no more protests.

"One last thing," said Tiger when the last genin had surrendered her weapons. "Someone not me decided to throw you upstarts a bone. You'll all get to pick a single weapon _or_ \--not _and_ \--tool from the pile. Remember the numbers you were given at the beginning of the exam? That's the order you'll get to pick you little trinket -- don't whine! This'll even the playing field a bit."

It certainly would. The kids from poorer backgrounds might get a chance to snag first grade-supplies from their richer classmates. The ones who specialized in reconnaissance and infiltration would get a better shot against the ones who were more combat-oriented because they'd get to see what weapons everyone preferred. Not to mention, most of the brats were probably already planning to go on a weapons-and-supplies run the moment they were in the Forest. Kakashi could practically guess which ones would start gunning for anyone stupid enough to select a particularly useful tool or weapon in front of everyone. Some of the bigger genin (Mineo, for example) were wearing gleeful smirks as they watched the ones with lower numbers step up to the tables where everything was laid out.

Itachi was genin number eight. Kakashi watched him walk forward and predicted that he'd grab one of the shuriken sets still at the table (genin number three--a slim girl with her purple hair wrapped in a high bun at the back of her head--had already snagged the set Itachi himself had put down, probably because she'd guessed the Uchiha heir would be carrying beautifully made throwing stars). According to his records, Itachi was most skilled at shurikenjutsu so--

\--he retrieved his bird seeds.

Even Kazue looked surprised at the decision. Her strong eyebrows furrowed as she watched Itachi calmly step away from the table, seemingly unconcerned with the wave of whispers he'd caused, and then walk towards the entrance to The Forest.

"Fucking hell," said Mineo, rolling his brown eyes. "Isn't the little freak supposed to be some kind of genius?"

"Quiet," snapped Kazue without taking her eyes away from the spot where Itachi had been standing beside her.

 _So you don't know what's on that bag either._ Kakashi had to admit that he was actually curious. It probably wasn't soldier pills. Prodigious talent or no, Itachi's body was still ten years old. How likely was it that he'd risk taking chakra-altering drugs while wandering a dangerous forest without support? Who would watch out for him after the inevitable crash?

It wasn't really necessary to watch the rest of the brats selecting their weapons, but Kakashi didn't want to make it obvious that he'd be trailing Itachi specifically, so he waited after Mineo and Miho had their turn at the table. Both of them ignored the weapons and went directly for water canteens. Kazue really did emphasize foraging, didn't she? So why did Itachi pick a little bag of seeds?

When Miho disappeared behind the Forests' tall trees, Kakashi signaled another ANBU to start heading into the forest. No reason to be the first one in there. Falcon took the cue and flickered away, surprising a few of the kids around them still waiting to be called towards the table. Kakashi waved at a teen who was staring at him with something that could only be described as hero-worship on his face, then flickered away as well.

Finding Itachi took long enough to make Kakashi feel just a bit of chagrin. Supposedly, he was an expert tracker so finding a little ten-year-old shouldn't have taken him four full minutes no matter how thick the fog blanketing the forest floor, how little sunlight he had to go by, or how much the scent of moist, rotting leaves tried to distract him. But it took him that long to spot the red and white fan on the back of Itachi's shirt as the boy hunched under a tall maple tree and gathered newly fallen, dark green leaves. He was sticking them over his naked calves, probably using chakra to keep them from obeying gravity.

On his evaluation, Kakashi would note that little Itachi Uchiha understood that the biggest threat in The Forest of Death were the _insects._

A sharp _caw_ interrupted Kakashi's thought, notable since it meant that the animal had actually _surprised_ him. He watched a large bird with glossy black wings land on Itachi's left shoulder before cawing demandingly once more.

"There's nobody," Itachi said to it after a few moments. The bird, _(a crow, about the size of Itachi's head, red eyes)_ , let out a sharp cry and flew a couple of circles at the foot of the tree Kakashi was using as a vantage point. "There isn't anybody there!" insisted Itachi.

The crow's next caw sounded almost like a _scream._

"All right, all _right_ ," said Itachi in a harsh whisper, rising from his spot and extending his arm. "It must be an ANBU; they're not an enemy."

As he watched the large black wings taking the crow back to Itachi, Kakashi understood a couple things. First, the bird seeds were _actually_ bird seeds. Itachi took out the bag and offered his pet a few of them, going as far as rubbing his index finger over the crow's head and smiling softly.

Second, it wasn't a normal crow.

"We need to find water," mumbled Itachi. " _After_ I finish with the leaves."

There were many reasons why the animal _couldn't_ be a mundane bird. Crows rarely visited The Forest of Death. Crows didn't have red eyes. Crows were rarely as big as a human head (not even a human _child's_ head). Most importantly of all, crows most definitely couldn't sense Kakashi's presence. Or any jonin's really. The smarter ones might be able to locate a clumsy genin, but that was about it. Itachi's bird _had_ be a summon.

Itachi finished covering the skin of his limbs (minus his hands) and then started walking deeper into the Forest, looking a bit like a woodland nymph. The black bird perched itself on his head without making another sound. Kakashi followed them, wondering when little Itachi had forged an alliance with crows. As far as he knew, the Uchiha had a contract with Nekomata . . . which wasn't even close to the biggest reason why seeing the kid with a giant crow was absurd. No one had ever _found_ the crow boss, much less signed its contract. Kakashi didn't even know what the thing called itself. How had Itachi found it? He was _ten_ and, according to his records, had low stamina. He shouldn't be able to summon anything in the first place.

Well, he obviously met the crow boss at _some_ point. And kept it to himself too. Kakashi would have to point out that he was secretive and unlikely to brag about his accomplishments on his evaluation.

He was also a much better fighter than his records indicated.

On the way to the river bisecting The Forest of Death, Itachi ran into his first fellow genin. A tall boy - late teens, Kakashi estimated - emerged from behind a thick shrub brimming with fat blueberries, a happy smirk marring his stubbled cheeks. "A little clan brat," he said, chortling at Itachi.

"You eat those berries?" Itachi asked him, gesturing at the shrub. "How long ago?"

"I think I want your little bag," continued the bigger genin, rolling his shoulder.

_That one won't pass, _thought Kakashi as he rushed towards Itachi. There was no need to be attacking the youngest competitor less than an hour into the exam. He smirked when the big genin ended up punching the air a few centimeters in front of Itachi's nose. _Genjutsu._ The crow let out a celebratory _caw_.__

Itachi took a step forward and grabbed the _tanto_ strapped to the big genin's hip while the poor idiot continued to attack empty space. Then, he kicked the large genin's left heel, forcing the boy to fall to his right knee.

"What . . ."

Itachi pressed his small left hand over the other boy's right carotid and pressed down until his opponent fell to the moist ground unconscious. Kakashi smiled to himself as Itachi slipped the _tanto_ under his belt before walking towards the blueberry shrub. "At most, he ate some twenty-five minutes ago," he mumbled, reaching out to grab a cluster of berries.

 _Not long enough to determine whether the berries are poisonous or not,_ thought Kakashi while Itachi ripped a few blueberry clusters off the shrub anyway. It'd be interesting to see if the boy ate them or not.

Kakashi expected Itachi to wander away from the genin he'd knocked out, but he actually walked back towards his prone form with a small frown on his face. The crow made a protesting noise from its spot atop Itachi's head. "We can't leave," protested Itachi, glaring down at his defeated opponent. "He'll die."

Not really. Kakashi would summon another one of the ANBU to take the kid out of the forest. Still, it was interesting that Itachi cared at all.

"Mr. ANBU!" he called out suddenly, something that Kakashi _really_ hadn't been expecting.

He flickered in front of Itachi anyway, remembering Obito's grinning face. "Need help already brat?"

"He does," answered Itachi, gesturing down at the fallen genin.

" _He_ didn't call me," pointed out Kakashi, thinking that he might as well take the chance for a small psych exam. Would Itachi throw away his chance at promotion for someone who'd tried to bully him? "Technically, I could fail you right now," he added, staring at Itachi's dark eyes.

" _Caw!_ " said the red-eyed crow.

"Tell you what," said Kakashi, stepping closer to the boys. "I'll get your associate out of here safely if you agree to forfeit the exam."

Itachi's eyes narrowed and he looked down at the unconscious boy's spiky dark hair. "I think not," he said, before turning around and walking away. His light footsteps made no sound even though he ought to be crushing the dried leaves beneath his feet.

Once Itachi was out of sight Kakashi reached for his radio, feeling strangely disappointed. If he'd agreed to sacrifice himself for a comrade, Kakashi would've promoted him on the spot.

Later, Kakashi would wish that he'd _failed_ the kid on the spot. It'd have saved them both a week of grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at the beginning of my education, I had time to take classes that had nothing to do with science and physiology so I took many literary analysis classes. I remember a particular discussion about fantasy and animal characters. The gist was that the moment any character - regardless of what body it inhabited - spoke in human language, the readers would instantly start thinking of that character as "human" without even realizing it.
> 
> Point it, I didn't want to give Itachi's summon human speech because I felt that it'd take away some of its impact. IDK.


	2. Chapter 2

For Itachi, building and arsenal wasn't difficult, mostly because his skills with genjutsu far surpassed that of any genin. He was certainly better than any of the kids taking the exam with him and probably better than many chuunin, which made Kakashi wonder why his family hadn't bragged about it yet. He watched the boy easily take a pack of kunai from another kid who outweighed him by a good fifty pounds and considered the situation.

"No water on this one either . . ." Itachi mumbled with something that sounded like exasperation.

 _No, you'll have to_ look _for someone who went for a water flask,_ thought Kakashi. Those kids would be smart enough to hide for as long as possible. They certainly wouldn't jump another genin in the middle of a nice _clearing_.

The crow _cawed_ harshly.

Itachi sighed and reached for his bird seeds. He kept doing that at seemingly random moments, but especially after he fought someone. The crow flew off the other genin's belly and landed on Itachi's shoulder, opening its wicked beak so Itachi could deposit a few bright yellow seeds directly onto its mouth. There was something about that crow that made Kakashi uneasy. It seemed to be swallowing the seeds whole rather than pecking them open to reach the food inside.

And it was the only crow around. Kakashi was no expert on birds, but he was fairly sure crows wondered around in groups--murders, they were called.

After waiting a beat, Itachi bent down and took the other genin's long-sleeved shirt. He pushed away the leaves he'd pressed on the surface of his forearms and then pulled the garment over his head, making the crow fly to the ground with an indignant _caw_.

The shirt wasn't a perfect fit. Itachi had to tie a knot at the small of his back and fold back the sleeves. Still, it'd offer better protection from insects and the elements than leaves. It'd also give the boy a place to hide the weapons he was gathering.

 _And it'll get cold soon,_ Kakashi thought as Itachi wandered away, waiting a few minutes before radioing for someone to pick up the bald teen Itachi had incapacitated in a matter of seconds.

The exam would get worse, Kakashi knew. He followed in Itachi's direction, smelling moist air through his porcelain hound mask. Fat droplets of water occasionally fell on his shoulders, which meant that a storm probably raged outside the forest. The earth would get even more slippery and some beast would take refuge under The Forest of Death's thick canopy. As if the animals that made the place their home weren't bad enough already. Worst of all, the genin would start making alliances soon enough, and then the Forest would truly be a battleground. Genjutu wasn't very effective against multiple opponents, at least not if the user wasn't capable of ensnaring more than one target under his traps.

So unless the kid was a master, illusions wouldn't help him in a fight against more than one person. And he had yet to find water. Itachi kept walking though, and Kakashi conceded that trying to hide without water would be a stupid mistake. At least the boy was going in the right direction, assuming if he was heading towards the river that bisected The Forest of Death. Kazue must have shown her kids the a map of the place since it was a rather common site for Chuunin Exams.

But the river was still ways away and the Forest was teeming with genin eager to prove themselves. Itachi ran into two of them on the way.

The first one made the same mistake as his two predecessors; he attacked Itachi head on and ignored the odd crow's cry. Itachi trapped him in an illusion instantly and then calmly reached for his neck. Once the other kid--brown hair, tall, thin--had fallen, Itachi gave the crow seeds and then reached for his fallen opponent's legs.

"They must know I don't have water," Itachi told his crow as he removed the brown-haired kid's black leg warmers. "It's stupid to target me."

The crow let out another _caw_ and Kakashi wondered if there was some some kind of agreement between them. Did the crow understand human speech? A lot of summon beasts did. Kakashi hadn't finished considering the possibility when a second genin attacked.

Unfortunately for Itachi, his second attacker was much more intelligent.

She wasn't much bigger than Itachi himself, but that hardly meant anything. Instead of waiting until Itachi had finished putting on his last attacker's leg warmers, the purple haired girl (same one who'd taken Itachi's shuriken set) fell from the tree behind him and aimed a rain of shuriken at his back.

 _Shurikenjutsu specialist,_ thought Kakashi, watching as Itachi whirled around and caught three of the throwing stars, sliding to his left to dodge the rest.

"Why come after me now?" Itachi asked the girl as he pushed a finger through the holes on the shuriken he'd just caught.

The girl took a step backwards and braced herself. Her bright purple eyes passed over the crow. It'd flown off Itachi's head and settled atop the fallen genin's belly again. She shrugged. "It'd be better to go after the stronger opponents while I'm still at full strength," she said.

Itachi opened his mouth, but instead of waiting for his response, the girl launched another set of shuriken at him and then rushed forward herself.

As the crow _cawed_ , Kakashi tried to figure out why Itachi hadn't used any genjutsu against his new opponent. Though he was dodging her attacks so far, catching the odd shuriken and dancing away from her fists, it was obvious that the girl was better at taijutsu. And since she was older, she probably had higher stamina than Itachi. Not to mention, a prolonged fight would invite thirst and exhaustion he couldn't afford. Unless . . .

"You know I can see through illusions," Itachi said and instant after snatching a shuriken right out of the air. "Why even try?"

 _The girl knows genjutsu too._ Well, it was true that people proficient at genjutsu were the worst targets for it, so that explained why the girl wasn't unconscious yet. Though . . .

"You'll run out of chakra before me," she told Itachi, voice taunting and satisfied. "Then I'll send you back to your mom."

 _And there's clearly some history here,_ thought Kakashi, idly noting that there were three other kids making their way towards the clearing. The crow produced another _caw_ and Itachi smirked.

"I don't think you will," he said, putting the shuriken in his pocket and bringing his hands together. The girl seemed a little confused at the relatively slow pace he was stringing together the hand seals for a Great Fireball Jutsu, but Kakashi knew there were other genin nearby. He understood what Itachi was planning before the flames appeared and engulfed the ground in the girl's general direction. Though the explosion made significant noise, the flames themselves weren't strong enough to ignite the moist leaves coating the forest floor.

_Now let's see if you're fast enough, Itachi._

He was more than just fast.

Alerted by the sudden explosion, the three genin nearby reached the clearing in under a minute, bursting through the shrubs with too much fanfare to be truly stealthy. Without removing her gaze from Itachi, the girl angled her body towards the biggest newcomer (another genin who looked almost older than Kakashi himself) and stood with her knees slightly bent. "Stupid plan, Itachi," she said with a slight head shake. The crow made another noise and flapped its large, glossy wings.

"I was hoping for one of my cousins," said Itachi, making Kakashi's eyes narrow. Granted, he'd only "known" Itachi for a couple of hours, but it still didn't _feel_ like something he would say.

The largest boy smirked and gestured at his thinnest associate. "Handle the clan brat."

The girl seemed to agree with Kakashi's assessment of the situation. "No _wait!_ " she cried, but it was too late. She had to duck away from the last boy's sudden kick and catch the shuriken their leader aimed at her. The thin boy was already running towards Itachi with a kunai poised to strike.

Like the first two boys who'd tried to take out Itachi, he slowed down before reaching his target. A target who hadn't even bothered to take his red eyes off the purple headed girl and her attackers. She also glanced at Itachi in between dodging punches and, probably to be an asshole, the kid bent down and finished straightening his newly stolen leg warmers. When his calves were fully covered, Itachi walked up to his disoriented opponent and started looking through the poor boy's pockets.

Admittedly, it looked impressive, but Kakashi couldn't shake off the annoying feeling that he was missing a subtle but highly important detail about the whole thing. Why didn't the other two boys notice that their comrade had been neutralized by the little clan brat? Why wasn't the girl - 

"He's going to get away!" she gasped out when the other two boys had her backed up against one of the maple trees framing the clearing. "Look!"

It was no use. The two brats seemed to have forgotten about Itachi and the third member of their group completely. Itachi finished looking through the thin kid's pockets and found only a roll of ninja wire, then extended and arm for his crow. Once the bird had perched itself on his arm and then hopped to the top of his head, Itachi stared into his opponent's eyes for a few moments. The thin boy turned his attention towards his teammates . . . and attacked the leader instead of the purple haired girl.

 _Aren't you just full of surprises?_ thought Kakashi, silently following Itachi as the brat ran away from the scene; his footsteps finally making the usual noise when he crushed the rotting leaves beneath his feet. _Or maybe you're hoping to instigate more chaos?_ Or maybe whatever illusion he'd put the thin genin under wasn't particularly specific. Either way, the brat's plan had worked.

When he was about fifty meters away, Itachi found that his plan had worked a little _too_ well.

Scavengers, kids smart enough to wait quietly for the fight to be over so they could search any possible corpses or leftovers, had been drawn towards the ongoing fight. Probably by accident, Itachi ran straight into one waiting behind a large maple tree trunk. The other kid fell to the ground and looked up at Itachi with a painfully frightened gasp that shifted into a snort when he noticed that his opponent was at least a full head shorter than him.

"I can handle you," the older boy said, rising to his feet with a level of clumsiness that was embarrassing for any shinobi, genin or not.

"Get out of my way," Itachi said. "I don't have time to be gentle." Kakashi hoped the brat knew that two other genin were perched on the tree branches of the maple tree.

"Arrogant little fuck," said the other genin, reaching for a kunai.

 _"Caw!"_ said the crow from its spot on Itachi's head.

_"Not--"_

The other genin didn't wait for Itachi to finish and tried to slash down at his neck. Itachi jumped backwards, reached into his pocket and counterattacked with a single shuriken. The other boy fell onto the ground, blood gushing from his neck as though it were a hose with a hole in it.

 _"Ken!"_ shouted a girl when Itachi took a step towards the bleeding kid. She jumped off the maple and fell to her knees beside the dying genin on the ground. Itachi took another step and was interrupted by the last kid atop the maple, a broad shouldered teenager with brown hair and a katana on his right hand.

"I want my shuriken," Itachi said to him, loudly enough to be heard over the girl's sobs.

"You didn't need to kill him," said the kid with the katana. Kakashi felt three people coming their way. The other three boys had either dealt with the purple haired girl or she'd managed to run away.

"Damn it!" It looked like Itachi had noticed his previous reinforcements were catching up to him. "Get _out_ of my way," he told the brown haired kid, pointedly pulling out three more shuriken. Displaying a comforting amount of foresight, the boy moved to sheath his katana. Too bad that the girl by the dead genin's side was too emotionally compromised to think about self-preservation. She rose to her feet with the dead boy's . . . probably dead teammate's kunai.

"I'll rip out your throat, you little--"

"For fuck's _sake!_ " yelled the other guy, grabbing her forearm. "Get a _hold_ of yourself." When the girl tried to wrench away with a snarl, the boy punched at her. The girl dodged, but her attention seemed to be drawn away from Itachi long enough for him to rush around them.

"He's getting _away!"_ shouted the girl. Kakashi sighed and followed Itachi.

" _We're_ getting away!" he heard the sword-wielding genin yelling at his teammate.

Since he was doubting the accuracy of Itachi's general skill scores (as in they were probably woefully understated), Kakashi was inclined to agree. The only thing left to do was find out whether Itachi was a psychopath (more so than was acceptable for a ninja anyway).

Rather unexpectedly, Itachi decided to climb up a tall maple once he was about a kilometer away from the kid he'd just killed. Kakashi started climbing higher once the kid was at the same level as him, wondering what the new plan was. The crow started cawing obnoxiously, making Itachi pause in order to offer the bird seeds. Kakashi noticed that he was panting a little, though he was still as silent as a cat. Kid was getting tired and he'd yet to find water. In the confusion of the fights, he'd ended up going away from the river and he'd yet to correct his direction. Kakashi wondered if he was trying to climb to the top of the maple tree in order to drink some of the falling rain. An inefficient plan, but Kakashi supposed it would work.

It turned out not to be what Itachi's planned to do, though. The kid settled on a wide branch attached to the maple's main trunk long before reaching the canopy. The crow hopped off his head, perched on an offshoot of the branch, and pecked at wood a bit noisily. Itachi sighed and bit his lower lip before swallowing thickly. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the cluster of berries he'd gotten from that one shrub so many hours. The berries were looking worse for the wear, the ones on the outermost layer squished and browning like they were already rotting.

They weren't poisonous, Kakashi knew for that for sure. Itachi hadn't tested them though, so if he ate them it'd be a strike against him. Remembering Ibiki's orders again, Kakashi decided to check if the brat could be persuaded to surrender a chance for promotion. He decided to reveal himself and had to suppress a grunt of annoyance when the blasted crow cawed as if to announce his arrival.

"Interesting partner you've got there," Kakashi said after appearing in front of his target.

Itachi merely stared up at him and didn't make a sound before putting the berries back in his pocket.

_"Caw!_

"One thing I don't understand," continued Kakashi, "is how you managed to pull three people into an illusion, but couldn't trick that purple haired girl into falling for a single one."

"I'll explain it to you if you let me have a sip of your canteen," said Itachi in a scratchy voice.

"Are you asking for help?" Almost as if to make Itachi consider his answer, a gust of cold air passed through them.

"I'm making you an offer," said Itachi, reminding Kakashi that he'd already stolen a big shirt and leg warmers. The cold wouldn't intimidate him.

"I'm not quite that curious about it," Kakashi told him.

Itachi shrugged and licked his lips, an action that failed to moisten them much. Kakashi was about to remind him that he could always ask for help when the brat's dark eyes were drawn to a fat cockroach making its way up the thick maple trunk.

With a smile that looked more like a grimace, Itachi reached for the insect. "Luck's on my side today," he said to Kakashi a second before snapping the big cockroach's head off.

"Somewhere, one of our medics is weeping," Kakashi said when Itachi started to rip off the insect's legs one by one. That particular roach belonged to a species notorious because the mush that was their blood was capable of warding off even the nastiest of infections. It was also known for the high amount of water in its open circulatory system, so Kakashi wasn't surprised when Itachi cracked open its shell and carefully brought it to his lips.

Kakashi's throat clenched in sympathy. The damned roaches tasted like Brussels sprouts that'd been dipped in snot and left out in the sun for too long. But he had to admit that Itachi _was_ lucky. The repulsive roach would moisten his parched throat, which would give him a psychological boost if nothing else.

 _Extremely lucky,_ thought Kakashi when the brat looked down in the direction the roach had come from, scooted a bit, and smiled. Kakashi followed his gaze and saw a large cluster of similar cockroaches, their brown wings fluttering in response to the cooling air and odd droplets of water. "Disgusting," he mumbled.

"Nutritious," argued Itachi, slowly rising to his feet. Quiet as a ghost, he walked down the trunk a couple of steps and started picking the roaches one by one. The crow followed and perched itself atop Itachi's head again. The bugs didn't notice and, when Itachi offered it one of the roach heads, the bird cawed indignantly and turned away, all but confirming Kakashi's suspicions about the thing. Weren't crows prone to eating almost anything under the sun?

"It was your pet that put those three boys under a genjutsu, wasn't it?"

The crow turned its big red eyes on him and, for a moment, Kakashi was certain that it _did_ understand human speech.

"It's not my pet," corrected Itachi before drinking another roach. Kakashi had to admit that he found the boy's ability to down the stuff without frowning absurdly impressive.

"What're you going to do when you run out of seeds for it?"

"I won't," answered Itachi.

"Of course not," said Kakashi, disappearing from Itachi's sight as he lamented that he probably couldn't hide from the crow; a fact that only mildly irritated him. The thing was, after all, not human.

Kakashi assured himself that he could always wring the stupid bird's neck if worst came to worst.

After handling his thirst, Itachi started making his way towards the river. He was more just walking in a straight line into the forest, which Kakashi supposed would _eventually_ take him to the water even if it wasn't particularly efficient.

A few hours later, the storm finally became strong enough to break through The Forest of Death's canopy. Kakashi instantly regulated his chakra to a comfortable temperature, wondering how Itachi would handle the inclement weather as water hit his skin and tried to cling to him before flowing down to the ground. Every once in a while, the boy brought his cupped hands to his mouth, so he was obviously taking advantage of the storm. And the taste of rotting Brussels sprouts might leave his tongue.

Though the visibility was so bad it might as well be night already, Kakashi noticed that Itachi didn't seem to be bothered. His pace didn't change at all, which made Kakashi think that maybe his chakra flow was so masterfully under his command that he could control his body temperature. Unheard of for someone so young except . . . well, Kakashi didn't remember ever being bothered by the weather unless he was suffering from chakra exhaustion so technically, it _wasn't_ unheard off.

The crow, of course, didn't move from its spot on top of Itachi's head. Infernal thing.

By the time the storm was over and Itachi reached the river, it was already night. The boy finished his first day by falling to the side of the Death River (Konoha's ninja never claimed to be creative as a whole), and dipping his hands into the cold water.

"Still no canteen to store it," Itachi said, looking up at the sky. At his crow, Kakashi realized. "And now I'm hungry."

And there were at least six other genin out for Itachi's blood, _and_ no matter what he said, the brat would run out of seeds eventually. Kakashi was almost sure that he _hadn't_ signed a contract with the crow boss so fuck only knew what would happen once he couldn't pay the giant bird fucking with people's heads for him. Not to mention, his teammates might still be in the forest and Itachi didn't seem concerned at all. Which wouldn't look good in his psych eval, that was for sure.

Thunder clapped through the sky, momentarily illuminating Itachi's young face. The crow cawed and plucked at the boy's wet hair.

 _Creeping hell, it's_ grooming _the brat,_ thought Kakashi. Could it get any more eerie and disturbing?

And suddenly it stopped its grooming and let out a loud warning cry, startling Itachi out of his reverie. Startling _Kakashi_ out of his amazed bafflement. There were no other people around, Kakashi would bet Obito's eye on it, so what did the crow sense?

Another animal, _duh._

It flew off Itachi's head and went towards a wet shrub about two meters below Itachi's spot, cawing so loudly that Kakashi wondered if the thing would be of any use in a mission. He bet anyone in miles could hear it. The fox hiding in the shrub certainly heard it, and it jumped out with a growl that sounded downright annoyed.

The crow flapped its wings and--

"Stop!" Itachi called out, rising to his feet. The crow let out a noise Kakashi understood was a whine even though _physically_ it sounded no different than any other of its caws. "We're not going to eat it," sighed Itachi at the same moment the fox launched itself at him.

When it reached Itachi, its snarl had been replaced by something that sounded suspiciously like a purr, most likely because Itachi trapped under an illusion. It nuzzled Itachi's calf with its nose and the crow made another protesting noise.

Itachi sighed and reached for his seeds; tossed the crow a couple as he bent down to pet his new ally. "Kyuubi," he said, making Kakashi think that the fox's fur looked red up close. Either way, it was a daring name for an Uchiha to use. "Come on," Itachi said with a look in the crow's direction. "We need to find shelter for the night."

 _Well,_ Kakashi thought as his eyes trailed the boy and his pets. _Only one dead genin so far. Things certainly could be worse._

And they would be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was going to be three chapters, but then chapter three reached ten pages and I decided to make the conclusion its own separate section.

Before Obito’s . . . before he made jonin, Kakashi’s team ran into a genjutsu specialist from Grass. She’d nearly killed them. Out of all the people who’d nearly killed them back then (and _many_ people had nearly killed them back then), that stout old woman was the one that Kakashi remembered most. For a long time, she’d been like a wraith stalking through his subconsciousness, keeping him awake at night with taunts about what a jackass he’d been. Even though Minato-sensei had killed her right in front of him.

It’d been all right if she’d attacked him with obvious nightmares. All ninja were trained to deal with those. But that old woman had been cleverer than that.

Instead of showing her opponents severe illusions, broken bones, bleeding necks, searing burns, the works; she’d made the world just a _little_ bit off kilter. She hadn’t cared much about her comrades, or at least Kakashi supposed she hadn’t when he thought about that Grass team.

It’d all started when he almost captured one of the girls in the old woman’s squad.

Under normal circumstances, Kakashi wouldn’t have batted an eyelash at the girl’s death, but he did more than that when he cut open her right carotid and her blood has slapped his face, made him squint his eyes shut, and soaked right through his mask.

Kakashi had aimed his kunai at the girl’s clavicle, intending to shatter it so her arm would be disabled. It wouldn’t have been too difficult to wrestle her to the muddy ground afterwards without killing her. And he hadn’t meant to kill her. The plan had been to cause no injury that Rin couldn’t heal since their ultimate goal had been to gather a bit of intel that the Hyuuga couldn’t just scan the muggy Grass swamp for.

Kakashi supposed the old woman had seen through his plan.

It was one of those moments that’d burned itself into Kakashi’s memory like a brand. He remembered standing in front of the fallen Grass ninja, desperately trying to make sense of the copper scent in his nostrils as her teammate went for _his_ throat.

Obito had saved him and, maybe because he’d been just a bit of a dick back then, the embarrassment prompted Kakashi to keep what he’d considered a stupid mistake to himself.

Not that he could’ve _actually_ kept it to himself, though. The Grass ninja’s corpse had been at his feet so he’d had no choice but to pretend like he’d _meant_ to kill her. Better to look like a psychopath than an idiot, right? So Kakashi kept the fact that he’d fallen for a “simple” genjutsu to himself and endured Obito’s angry comments about how much of an asshole he was while hoping that Minato-sensei wouldn't dwell on the matter. Rin had approached him a little later and her worried brown eyes had only made him more determined to keep his little fuck up to himself.

It’d worked wonders, especially for the old genjutsu master. She’d almost driven Kakashi mad before Minato-sensei noticed the problem.

Anyway. Little Itachi kind of reminded Kakashi of that awful old Grass ninja, what with the way he seemed to be driving his fellow genin mad.

After making it to Death River’s side, the boy began to . . . well, _camp_ was the only word Kakashi could pick to describe it. All the apprehension and vulnerability seemed to bleed out of Itachi overnight, most likely because he was unlikely to suffer from chakra exhaustion when he had a virtually limitless supply of water. He certainly hadn't decided to hide, anyway.

The enthralled fox Itachi used to test the various berries he found around the river, rightfully guessing that any poison that couldn’t down a relatively small predator _probably_ wouldn’t kill a human. Still . . . Kakashi bet the poor animal didn’t like forcing random fruits down its throat. At least Itachi rubbed at its red fur soothingly before feeding it the things.

For protein, Itachi began to fish. Easy enough for him to do that since he’d nabbed a couple of shuriken from the purple haired girl. What surprised Kakashi was that he gathered some firewood and began to cook right by the riverbed at a spot illuminated by a few rays of bright morning sunshine that’d broken through the drying canopy. His fox sat beside him and its fur gleamed a brighter red that bordered on yellow wherever it reflected light. The crow had perched itself right on the fox’s back and adopted an air of stillness that would’ve made an accomplished jonin envious. The three of them made a pretty, if _eerie_ picture, all things considered.

As the fish cooked, the scent of meat teased Kakashi’s nose, reminding him that he’d be sustaining himself with nothing but rations and fruits until the exam was over. Irritating.

Other people could smell Itachi’s food too, so it wasn’t long until he was found by three other boys scavenging for lone contestants. And that’s when the exam started going to hell.

The three kids, and of course all the other kids had made their alliances already, wandered to Itachi’s campsite just as the boy bit into his first fish. The biggest one was twice as tall as Itachi and probably outweighed him by a good hundred pounds. One of them boasted a stubble, and another had a katana strapped to his back. All in all, Kakashi bet Itachi was more interested in the water flask hanging off the biggest one’s belt.

The crow let out its warning cry. For the newcomers or for Itachi, Kakashi couldn’t tell. The three other kids didn’t seem to notice at all, so for Itachi most likely. Kakashi doubted the poor kids could even see the thing, much less hear it. The fact that they didn’t seem to note the fox either was rather worrying.

“You must be Daichi’s baby cousin,” the guy with the flask said, chortling to himself. Since he waved the other two back before sauntering closer to Itachi, he was probably the leader. “I thought you were a genius.”

“They do say that,” agreed Itachi after spitting out a thin fish bone. The fox started growling, prompting Itachi to pet the red fur of its neck soothingly.

“Then why aren’t you hiding?” asked the big genin. One of his associates snorted.

“Something tells me you’re about to find out,” said Itachi, mild tone somehow making the unspoken threat more obvious. But he didn’t put down the half-eaten fish, much less reached for a weapon.

Out of nowhere, the genin let out an angry growl.

 _And here we go,_ thought Kakashi as he watched the guy launch himself at Itachi. And the fox finally leaped off the ground and intercepted the attack by sinking its teeth into the genin’s left calf, growling out a warning. The crow flapped its large wings, then flickered back towards the top of Itachi’s head.

“ _Shit -_ ” The boy with the katana was interrupted by a terrified scream.

Apparently the crow got the last member of the little squad. Poor kid’s knees trembled before he stumbled backwards and started crawling away, gasping out terrified squeaks.

With an annoyed grunt, Katana started moving towards the fox, pausing only when their leader kicked at it. Ineffectively. The fox just bit down harder while the big genin tried to stumble towards Itachi . . . and stopped right in front of him to punch at some empty space.

An ugly part of Kakashi thought it looked hilarious.

Itachi didn’t even put his fish down and focused his attention on the only genin not suffering from genjutsu-induced hallucinations.

“Goddammit, _fuck!_ ” cried the kid with the katana when he had to dodge a shuriken. He shot Itachi a glare and unsheathed his sword. “You can’t have that many,” he said, eyes flitting between Itachi’s hands and the big guy.

“Can’t I?” asked Itachi before taking a last bite of fish.

Finally recalling his basic lessons, Katana rushed for the shuriken he’d dodged and aimed at his friend’s exposed bicep. The shuriken grazed him, but it wasn’t enough to shift his focus away from Itachi and towards the animal latched onto his leg. _“Hito!”_ Katana tried to attack the fox once again, but he had to dodge another shuriken.

“Why would yelling snap him out of it when a _fox bite_ didn’t?” Itachi was beginning to sound a bit dickish. As if in agreement, the crow cawed.

“Just call it off and we’ll leave you alone!” yelled Katana, his heels straining like he was having trouble keeping himself from bolting towards his friend.

“You’re in no position to bargain,” said Itachi, finally rising to his feet. He started moving towards the genin with the water flask and, though it was far from impartial, Kakashi suddenly wanted the coherent kid to ask for help.

But he didn’t ask for help. He went straight for Itachi when the boy reached for the big guy’s water flask and, since Itachi had no more shuriken, he had no choice but to dodge. The fox let go of the big genin, then forced Katana to take a leap backwards to avoid a few gashes of his own.

“Down Kyuubi,” said Itachi and the fox stopped just before leaping again, growling harshly.

“The fuck is wrong with you . . .” breathed Katana, glancing at Water Flask. He’d fallen to the ground, almost looking unconscious except for the occasional twitch. Physically at least, he was mostly all right. Even his leg was only bleeding sluggishly. Hopefully, the fox wasn’t carrying some kind of awful disease.

“I want his water flask,” Itachi said. The crow made another noise. “And your sword,” added Itachi, nodding to himself.

Showing the kind of foresight that’d serve a chunin well, Ka . . . _former_ Katana decided to cut his losses. He acquiesced to Itachi’s demands with nothing more than a grim frown, collected his friend, and leaped away from the scene without giving his opponent a chance to change the terms. Kakashi hoped the brat asked for help before doing anything so stupid he’d ruin his chance at promotion.

“Progress,” Itachi told the crow, juggling his newly acquired flask on one hand as he reached for his silly pouch of seeds.

_“Caw!”_

He had to fish again, confirming Kakashi’s suspicions about his low chakra reserves. Not that Itachi’s handicap would be good news for his opponents since it’d _ceased_ to be a handicap the moment he found a steady supply of water and food.

The rest of the brats would find out soon enough. They would all go for the river and Itachi’s fires served as a bright signal. By the end of the day, a total of _twelve_ genin, divided into six groups, had attacked him. The fights, if they could even be called such, had stopped being amusing when a boy only a handful of years older than Itachi pissed his pants.

“Wire strings, two katana, three Exploding Tags, an extra water flask, a set of _senbon_ , and three kunai,” Itachi enumerated silently that night, sitting by a bright fire keeping him and his pets cozy. Despite his treasure, he sounded petulant. “Still no shuriken.”

Well, of course not. No one who favored shuriken was going to rush at anyone headfirst, which Itachi himself was rather comically demonstrating by refusing to give up his safe campsite in search of the purple haired girl who’d taken his shuriken set.

The next day was pretty much a repeat of the first, though Itachi had another storm aiding him. Cold and fog seeped over the forest floor, making the crow’s cries more disturbing than ever. Kakashi’s apprehension grew when he realized that genin were heading towards the camp in larger groups, all acting like they were in the middle of an actual war zone. Itachi’s illusions were spreading, jumping from genin to genin like a virus.

The good news was that most of the kids were sticking together against a common enemy, sharing supplies and water while whispering about _it_ in frightened tones. Though he knew better, Kakashi hoped that ‘it’ wasn’t the Nine Tails. He didn’t want to explain that a ten year old boy was using one of the worst days in Konoha’s history to win a silly contest.

That afternoon, Itachi killed one of the genin after him. He’d snuck right under the girl’s radar and, in one of the common tragedies of the shinobi world, her attempt to dodge his quick slash at her ribs had turned Itachi’s attack lethal. The kunai cut through her belly and showered thick blood over Itachi’s head, making the girl’s partners retreat while the crow sang and the fox growled.

Itachi stood over her corpse for a few seconds after her friends had gone before wiping blood from his forehead, shuddering delicately and turning towards the river. He had to pause after washing his head to give the crow seeds, then left the girl’s body to the elements and moved further down the river to wash himself. Kakashi radio’d for someone to pick up the girl’s body.

By nightfall, Kakashi had decided to fail Itachi. He was immature, technically skilled and intelligent, but far too _young_. Wolf appeared beside him on his tree branch just as he was ready to jump in front of Obito’s cousin.

“The fuck is the little Uchiha _doing_?” she demanded. When Itachi’s crow let out a shrill cry, she shuddered and looked down at the river bank. So she hadn't noticed the bird right away either. “The _fuck?_ ”

Down on the ground, Itachi’s muscles tensed and he gripped his kunai as the fox growled. “. . . Another ANBU,” he said a few seconds later, raising his hand to his forehead and shooting the crow a look. “Nothing we can do.”

“That would be Itachi’s summon,” Kakashi said to Wolf, watching as the boy reached for his birdseeds. “It’s responsible for more than half the genjutsu terrorizing the rest to the genin, I’d bet. The fox’s also under an illusion, but I’m pretty sure that one’s from Itachi himself.”

“But . . .” Kakashi felt like he could _see_ Wolf’s incredulous frown through her porcelain mask. “The kids think the Nine-Tails is attacking the village again . . . he _wouldn’t._ ”

“He obviously has,” said Kakashi. “I’m going to fail him.”

He heard the breath Wolf sucked in and frowned before she started talking. “Cobra wanted to stop the test but Danzo’s gotten involved. He wants to see how far the Uchiha heir will go.”

Damn it. Damn everything. “Hokage-sama?” he asked even though he knew what Wolf’s response would be.

“You know about as much as I do,” she started, “but it seems to be out of our hands. We can only interfere when the kids ask for help, and then only to fail them.”

“The other Uchiha genin?”

“Already failed,” answered Wolf. “They were getting ambushed rather viciously and I guess none of them are as good as Itachi. Two were killed and five asked for help.” Wolf left him to report back to Cobra, mumbling something about how stupid she’d been to worry about the Uchiha’s awful little heir.

Kakashi almost agreed with her, but it was that _damned_ crow that’d gotten under his skin. There was something disturbing about the thing; about the way it sang and flapped its glossy dark wings whenever a new group of kids mounted an attack against Itachi. About the way it seemed to groom Itachi after taking its seeds, combing through the boy’s hair with its wicked beak like Itachi was one of its chicks. The rain didn’t let up, but the bird never shook or fluffed its plumage, indicating that it was also using chakra to regulate its body temperature.

At least Kakashi hoped that was what it was doing.

Itachi himself seemed to be getting tired, which was to be expected no matter how much water and food he had. Even if he didn’t care about the insults his fellow gening kept throwing at him (Uchiha traitor, fucked up, bastard, _monster_ ), he’d been in the same half-borrowed outfit for days. Layers of sweat had already dried over his pores and enemy blood over his pale skin; the only indication that he wasn’t as unflappable as he pretended. Poor boy was afraid to bathe even though he was camping next to a river and could use his chakra to shrug off the cold.

As for Little Kyuubi . . . it wasn’t faring much better than the genin it kept attacking. Even if it hadn’t suffered from vicious kicks and concerted attacks, Itachi had its mind all confused. It wouldn’t last much longer.

Itachi would have to put it down, probably by the end of the day. Next morning at most. Poor thing had already tried to bite at Itachi’s hand when the boy tried to pet its ears after three different kids mounted a combined attack against it. Made clumsy by illusions or not, three genin were more than capable of landing significant hits against a common animal, especially since Itachi had been fending off three attackers of his own. It didn’t matter that they kept aiming well over the fox’s head, like they thought it was way bigger than it actually was.

By some miracle, the fox survived the night. Itachi had to stop petting it because it was snapping at anything and everything as it limped around the campsite, pausing to lick at its bloody, matted red fur and growling whenever the crow made a sudden noise.

Once, Itachi looked at the black bird and mumbled “you shouldn’t do that” in a voice so low Kakashi barely heard it.

The crow had turned its red eyes towards Itachi and cawed even louder; so loud that the poor fox startled and prepared to leap at the air, the muscles of its legs seeming to tremble. Itachi had moved to comfort it, but the animal had already been beyond any type of kind gesture. It’d almost bitten the boy’s fingers off.

Since Itachi didn’t take one of his many stolen kunai and slashed its throat right then and there, Kakashi decided that he probably wasn’t a psychopath. A boon for their village, he supposed. They needed all the skilled, mostly sane ninja they could get.

More genin kept coming that foggy day, a few for their second try at the dying fox. None of them succeeded, none of them had shuriken, and _none_ of them asked for help. Had they all forgotten about that rule? Kakashi wouldn’t be surprised considering they all seemed to have forgotten the chuunin exam altogether. The crow’s illusions went frighteningly deep.

Speaking of the exam, Kakashi was sure that if it weren't for Danzo, Cobra would’ve called the whole thing off. There was no guest village to impress and most kids had been inside the forest long enough to demonstrate their skills. If Kakashi weren’t growing more and more apprehensive about Itachi’s infernal bird, he would’ve . . . hell, he should _fail_ the kid on grounds of taking the entire thing too far. He'd tricked the rest of the genin into thinking the _Kyuubi_ was attacking them. Talk about poor judgment . . . The only question left was whether Itachi had planned his little strategy right off the bat, or if the idea had popped into his stupid, ten-year-old brain the moment he’d run into the unfortunate red fox.

Or maybe it was all the crow’s doing. Kakashi couldn’t decide which possibility was worse.

Either way, he should fail Itachi and put an end to the entire thing. He could always tell Danzo to go fuck himself later. Wouldn’t be the first time Kakashi got into shit with the higher ups. In fact, fucking with Danzo’s plans was practically a hobby of his, so he was still considering it when a new group of kids made another attempt against Itachi.

One of them finally killed the fox . . . _finished_ killing the fox. Itachi retaliated by lodging a shuriken in his throat. The two other boys in the group tried to flee but Itachi intercepted them with shuriken as well. He stared at their fallen bodies, breathing too fast and holding a blood stained _tanto_ with his left hand.

Kakashi appeared in front of him and calmly noted how Itachi’s muscles tensed before he realized that he wasn’t about to deal with an opponent. At least not one he could realistically hope to beat.

The boy’s slim eyebrows relaxed and his red eyes turned black while the crow screamed from atop one of the corpses (how it’d gotten there was a fucking mystery since Kakashi could’ve sworn it’d been hovering over Itachi’s head). The boy forced his face to adopt a zen-like expression on his bloodstained face.

“Mr. ANBU.”

“That must itch,” commented Kakashi, watching as Itachi sheathed his _tanto_ and reached for his seed pouch.

“Yes,” agreed Itachi just a second later, reaching to wipe his face. “I don’t need help.”

“You need help stopping,” Kakashi told him. “I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you didn’t _mean_ for things to escalate to this point.”

“What point?”

Kakashi shook his head, wishing the brat could see his exasperated frown. “You don’t get to terrorize dozens of kids and then pretend you don’t understand exactly what you’re doing.”

Itachi paused as he dug into his bag of seeds and, for a second, Kakashi thought that shame made him stumble. When his took his hand out of the bag and failed to produce a single seed, Kakashi realized that the boy wasn’t paying him any mind.

 _”Caw!”_ demanded the crow shrilly, making Itachi’s eyes widen.

 _Fuck,_ thought Kakashi, feeling his muscles tense for a fight. He had a moment to thank Obito for bestowing with a considerable amount of resistance to genjutsu before the crow spread its large wings and--

“Itachi!” a young girl cried, startling Kakashi into realizing that the awful bird was already fucking with his head. He reached up to shift his headband so he could fully utilize Obito's Sharingan, getting ready to fend off a genjutsu assault.

“Miho,” Itachi gasped loudly. “Get out of here! Run!”

The crow half folded its wings, like it was deciding who it wanted to attack first. Kakashi reached for his pouch, praying that shuriken would be enough, gaze shifting towards the brown haired girl who’d just appeared from behind a large maple trunk. Itachi’s other teammate, the redhead Strong Fist student, stood in front of her and shot Itachi and vicious scowl.

“ _You!_ ” yelled Mineo, shifting into a standard Strong Fist stance. “I should’ve known you’d be doing something like this.”

“You don’t want to attack me now,” Itachi warned him, shooting Kakashi a pleading look.

 _Ask for help,_ Kakashi thought even as the words to calm Mineo formed in his mind - 

_Oh fuck, they can’t see me,_ he realized, wondering why it’d taken him so long to notice that neither Mineo nor Miho were saying anything about the jonin standing beside their young teammate. _That_ fucking _crow_.

Berating himself for his astounding stupidity, Kakashi brought his hands together and produced the strongest burst of chakra he could, determined to break out of the stupid illusion. When the fog clouding his mind dissipated, he saw Miho kneeling over a fallen Mineo, holding his shoulder while he writhed. His hands covered his eyes-- _bloody cheeks, bloody cheeks_ \--

Itachi stood right beside Kakashi staring down at his teammates with wide, dark eyes.

“Why?” Miho asked him after Mineo let out a jagged scream.

“I . . .” Itachi trailed off with a pained swallow and looked down at his feet. Perched atop his head was the large crow, its beak grasping a bloody eyeball.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mention of pedophilia. Nothing is described in any detail.

Over the years, Kakashi had suffered traumatic brain injuries, broken bones, dislocated joints, puncture and slash wounds to several major organs, first, second, and third degree burns, a collapsed lung, that one time he’d gotten an infected _papercut_ during a solo mission around the end of The Third Secret War . . . the eye, etc. Thank the spirits for Konoha’s miraculous healers (for Rin), though analgesics had never been a high priority among them. Sometimes, Kakashi’s entire life sometimes felt like a long, exquisitely detailed crash course on pain.

When Kakashi lost his eye, he’d thought _this is it, the final lesson . . . nothing will ever hurt like this again._ The entire world, the entire _universe,_ his own body included, had ceased to exist and been replaced by the bleeding, painful hole that had once been his eye. He’d been sure nothing would ever hurt so much again. Then Rin had fused Obito’s eye to his optic nerve and all his brain cells had gone on vicious murder-suicide psychotic sprees.

So it wasn’t surprising that Obito’s eye had throbbed in sympathy for the few minutes Kakashi had watched Mineo writhing in Miho’s arms as they waited for the medic they all knew wouldn’t be able to do much. _It’s only pain and at least he’s alive,_ Kakashi told himself as he searched for Itachi, who’d fled the scene a second after his awful crow had swallowed Mineo’s eye and disappeared with a caw that’d sounded downright _petulant_.

 _Explaining this one’s going to be amazing,_ a voice in his mind commented after he’d spent three minutes jumping from maple branch to maple branch, his ears straining to hear heavy breathing, rustling clothes, or crinkling dry leaves. A thick cloud had practically appeared over the moon the moment the crow had vanished, shrouding the forest in a blanket of inky darkness. Stupid to think so, but a part of Kakashi couldn’t help but wonder if it’d been the bird’s final fuck you.

_Great ninja you are, slowed down by a bit of blackness._

A couple of minutes later, he found a slim genin wedged between two tree trunks so close together that their roots were probably intertwined. Kakashi jumped down even though he knew it wasn’t Itachi, deciding that calming down one of the kids would at least make him feel a little useful. He’d thought that making his arrival obvious would be the kindest thing to do, but the genin let out a pained gasp when his sandals crushed the dying leaves on the ground just a few paces in front of the merging tree trunks. Partly to show himself more clearly, Kakashi molded a bit of fire on the palm of his hands and silently noted some stray locks of purple hair peeking from under the genin’s black hat.

“I’m ANBU,” Kakashi started, raising his other hand to show that he wasn’t holding a weapon.

“I didn’t ask for help,” a feminine voice responded. The girl seemed to inch further into the crevasse between the two trees, like Kakashi had just threatened her. Her hands clutched a kunai, but they trembled almost imperceptibly.

“The test is over,” tried Kakashi, thinking that it was a good sign that the girl remembered it at all. “You pass,” he added a second before recognizing Purple Hair as the girl who’d ambushed Itachi during the first day of the exam. The memory felt _old_ , like the exam had been going on for years instead of days.

Sighing, the girl reached for her forehead and slipped the kunai into her sleeve. “I didn’t think he’d be able to do something like this,” she mumbled, stepping out of her hidey-hole so slowly it looked like she was fighting with her muscles and bones every step of the way. “I didn’t think _anyone_ could. But I _should_ have . . .”

“You tried to fight Itachi a second time?” asked Kakashi, his stomach sinking. He hadn’t noticed it, which meant that the fucking crow had been messing with his perceptions since . . . probably since it’d started screaming at Itachi when he’d first found them. How the fuck was he going to report _that_ one? _The mean bird put me under a genjutsu and it took me a_ week _to notice._ Ibiki would probably assume that he hadn’t taken the mission seriously in the first place.

“I just thought . . .” the girl trailed off with a sigh and let her shoulders slump. “I’ve been dealing with dumb kids for too long.”

“How old are you?” Maybe he’d underestimated the girl’s age.

“Twenty-four.”

“Oh.” He’d _severely_ underestimated the girl’s age. _There goes the theory about playground crushes._ “How do you know Itachi?”

She stared at him for a moment, her lips trembling. “. . .Two years ago, my team was assigned a C-rank mission against a rich Magome-juku merchant suspected of trafficking children,” she started finally, looking away from Kakashi’s face.

“What’s your name and team?” interrupted Kakashi, narrowing his eyes. There was no such mission listed in Itachi’s file.

“Chikako, Team Fifteen,” answered the girl.

There were some records of Kazue collaborating with Yayoi (Team Fifteen’s leader), but . . . “Go on.”

“Yayoi-sensei thought using a little kid as bait would make it easier,” continued Chikako., swallowing visibly. “The guy wasn’t a fighter or anything, just some rich douche stealing peasant kids. And since they were merchandise, we didn’t think he’d physically damage any little genin we sent his way. We thought so anyway.”

“Get to the point,” said Kakashi, stomach already beginning to churn.

“The idea was to get the asshole’s records,” Chikako went on. “All businessmen keep them and our clients were hoping to find and retrieve their kids.” She breathed out slowly, like she was trying to calm herself. The crow must have done quite a number on her. “Kazue was the one who offered to lend Yayoi-sensei the brat. He already had a year of experience under his belt and she swore he was mature enough to handle it, especially since nothing indicated that the target was violent. We thought we were doing a good thing! Putting an end to some asshole stealing poor people’s kids and . . .” Abruptly, she turned pleading green eyes straight at Kakashi. “You’ve seen Itachi! There was no way he wouldn’t catch the asshole’s eye.”

Kakashi _did_ understand, actually. Smooth and unblemished skin, big dark eyes, silky black hair, well fed, clean nose, soft voice, overall healthy demeanor. Itachi was probably what rich infertile ladies pictured when they cried into their pillow because nature refused to give them a little bag of bones to play house with. Not to mention, clan brats most definitely knew how to be proper and obedient. “What went wrong?” And something _had_ gone wrong or the the mission wouldn’t be missing from Ibiki’s files.

“Itachi managed to get picked up by the trafficker's goons. We had him posing as a street rat for only two days.” Chikako snorted. “We thought we’d be back home in a week at most, but . . .”

“But?” Kakashi’s patience was running out. It would be even if he didn’t need to find Itachi, preferably before some Root asshole did. He’d only told two other ANBU to start collecting all the brats precisely because he didn’t want Danzo to step in personally and keep the exam going against all logic and basic decency. He couldn’t be sure that it all wouldn’t blow up in his face until he had Itachi in his custody.

Well, it would all blow up in his face either way, but once he had Itachi, he would be certain that he’d thoroughly fucked over Danzo’s plans at the very least.

“But the target didn’t get in contact with a potential buyer right away,” continued Chikako, looking away. “I was posing as a maid and since Itachi _seemed_ all right, I assumed that the asshole was just having trouble finding a buyer. And like I said, nothing about the target indicated that he was violent.”

“Chikako, I need you to get to the fucking point.” Kakashi made sure to keep his voice strictly neutral, though he had a sinking feeling that he knew exactly what had gone wrong.

“The trafficker had a party and . . .”

Fucking hell, it was like pulling out teeth. Kakashi reconsidered his decision to promote the girl . . . _woman_ only because she’d managed not to fall apart under the crow’s genjutsu. He sighed and thankfully it prompted Chikako to go on.

“I went to the bastard’s study thinking that he’d finally found a buyer,” she continued. Before her next words, her mouth twisted into an ugly, pained scowl. “And it was a bloodbath. Six men with gouged eyes. There were entrails puddled on the expensive mats and _teeth marks_ all over their arms.”

“Tragic,” said Kakashi, wondering when exactly Chikako had become a ninja. She was describing the whole thing like it was the worst scene she’d stumbled into, but any ninja who’d lived through the Third Secret War had seen worst. “And Itachi?”

“There wasn’t a scratch on him,” responded Chikako. “Not even a bloodstain. And he said . . .” she swallowed again, “‘why’re you looking at me like that? They got what they deserved.’ Red, big eyes. For a second, I thought I was going to _choke_.”

Maybe Chikako was still struggling to recover from the crow’s mind fucking. The more time passed, the more Kakashi felt his own head clearing, like he was coming back from a particularly bad drug trip. He needed to find Itachi and ask about that asshole bird. Then he needed to go back home and meditate until he was sure he could access all his memories from the past week. But first . . .

“Was he raped?”

“No!” cried Chikako, shaking her head firmly. “I think . . . the fucker was probably trying to groom the kid, but I doubt it worked.”

“You _doubt_ it worked?” repeated Kakashi, tilting his head.

“I’m _sure_ it didn’t,” Chikako corrected herself, swallowing thickly. “Fucker probably invited his friends over, got impatient when Itachi didn’t cooperate, then . . . I don’t know what happened, but Itachi sure as fuck didn’t have a scratch on him.”

Which actually didn’t prove all that much. “Why wasn’t this mission reported?”

“It was.” Chikako shot him a narrowed-eyed, confused frown.

Root.

“Was there a crow with him?” asked Kakashi, getting ready to return to his search.

“No, not when I found him with the dead nobles,” said Chikako. “I saw him playing with one on the way to the city, though. Looked eerie.”

Kakashi bet it had. Without asking anything else, he flickered away from Chikako and kept on looking for Itachi among the various trees. The cloud obscuring the Moon had moved on while he talked to Chikako, so a sickly glow was outlining the canopy and making the odd clusters of rocks on the forest floor glint. Hopefully Itachi . . . Better to assume that the target _hadn’t_ . . . Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut and pushed that detail out of his mind. Or _tried_ to. A part of him noted that even _Mist_ didn’t dangle children under pedophiles’ noses. There were lines that even shinobi shouldn’t cross.

Fuck Danzo. And fuck that crow for chipping away at Kakashi’s control so much that he was having trouble keeping his focus. And bless it for whatever it’d done to that _target_. And just where the _fuck_ had Itachi disappeared to?

He heard Itachi’s feet crushing some fallen leaves before ever spotting him. The kid wouldn’t make noise on purpose unless he was running from something, and it gave Kakashi more than enough warning to brace himself for anything he might find. He pushed as much of his chakra down as he could and silently followed the noise, his hand already reaching for a set of shuriken. Maybe the crow had returned for more direct compensation for its services.

Considering Kakashi had been readying himself for a fight with a creature of unknown skills, of unknown _age_ , even, it was quite a relief to note that Itachi was merely shifting from one foot to the other as he listened to another ANBU operative.

“Only someone thoroughly unsatisfied with some aspect of Konoha could’ve done what you did this week,” the ANBU was saying. His porcelain mask reflected light from the Moon. “Why not mold some of that frustration into a weapon for reform?”

Well, Kakashi supposed that Ibiki would find one of Root’s recruitment speeches useful. Hoping that Obito’s cousin wasn’t about to sell the entire village out, Kakashi settled on a maple branch just over Danzo’s crony.

“And how do you suggest I do that?” asked Itachi, his left foot grinding down on the ground. The sound of two little rocks rubbing against each other grated against Kakashi’s eardrum.

“Join ANBU,” said the Root bastard. “Become one of the shadows that anchors Konoha’s taproot even if it means you must cut out rotting branches.” Perhaps the little speech would sound regal and commanding if the voice uttering the words weren’t so monotone.

“ANBU doesn’t recruit people my age anymore,” pointed out Itachi.

“Not its primary division, no,” agreed Root.

“If you’re talking about Root, then I’m not interested,” said Itachi.

“How do you know about Root?” asked Root with a new edge to his voice.

For fuck’s sake, he was the _Uchiha heir._ Where was Danzo getting his morons lately?

“Anyone who is anyone in Konoha has been warned about Root,” said Itachi. “You’re no longer as much of a secret as the rank and file have been led to believe. And I’m not interested in anything Danzo has to say.”

Itachi started walking around the masked ninja and when the bastard made a grab for him, Kakashi flickered behind him and pressed a kunai to his right carotid. “You want to walk away from this,” he said into the guy’s ear, nicking his neck slightly as Itachi looked up at them with large red eyes. “Tell Danzo that Hound was sniffing around the kid. He’ll want that information.” It’d make it more difficult to play stupid later, but Kakashi was grateful for the chance to draw attention away from all the other ANBU handling the exam. They didn’t need to make an enemy out of Danzo.

Without making a sound, the guy vanished from Kakashi’s grasp. The red didn’t fade from Itachi’s eyes, not even after it was obvious that Root wasn’t going to put up a struggle. “That was dumb,” he said, glaring at Kakashi with his eerie red eyes. Damn inconvenient that Sharingan were bright even in the middle of the night.

“Should I have tricked him with a fake Nine Tails?” For a second, Itachi’s eyes widened. They still didn’t turn black. “The test is over,” said Kakashi, privately wincing at the dig despite his annoyance.

“. . . I’m the last one?” asked Itachi, finally letting his eyes bleed back to black.

“No,” said Kakashi, “tell me about your crow.”

“It’s a bird.”

“Clever,” said Kakashi. “Tell me how the two of you became acquainted.” The only conclusion that made any sense was that someone else had sent the crow to watch over Itachi. But _who_?

“I like to feed birds,” said Itachi, beginning to walk away.

With a low grunt, Kakashi grabbed his arm and scowled when some of the crusted blood on the stolen cloth rubbed off on the pads of his fingers. A whiff of copper hit his nose, like the moist sensation reminded his brain that he had other senses. He had to dodge a slash aimed at his belly before wrenching Itachi’s thin arms behind his back.

“Let me go,” snapped the brat, his muscles tensed. And his file called him ‘mostly docile’.

“Your friend’s not around anymore,” Kakashi reminded him. “And you’re exhausted, not to mention you smell like _shit,”_ he added when the little idiot didn’t relax, pulling on the young shoulder. “Don’t make me break something.”

“I said let _go!_ ” cried Itachi, pulling so roughly that Kakashi had to loosen his hold to avoid dislocating the brat’s shoulder. “I want to go home!”

“Don’t pretend you’re getting all hysterical now when you’re the only one who hasn’t been mind-raped in the last few days,” snapped Kakashi, grabbing a hold of the kid’s short ponytail. He grimaced at the slippery feel of even _more_ blood and pulled on the kid’s hair. “Calm _down!_ I’m trying to get you out of this forest.”

Those words finally prompted the brat to stop struggling, which was a bit of an irritating relief. “Well let’s go then,” he snapped up at Kakashi.

Kakashi let go of his hair but he made sure to keep a hold of the boy’s arm, half-expecting that the kid would try something dumb on the way back. Though it would’ve been faster to travel by Body Flicker, Kakashi didn’t want to waste the opportunity to ask Itachi more questions. He needed to get as much information as possible because it wasn’t like they could question him after the exam was over. Fugaku Uchiha would demand his son be returned to him. They weren’t that far from the edge of the forest and Kakashi could handle any Root douchebags they ran into on the way back.

“I still want to know about your crow,” said Kakashi after his charge had taken a swig of water from one of the flask he’d literally killed for.

“It’s my friend,” said Itachi and it would’ve been an adorably childish answer if the ‘friend’ hadn’t maimed Itachi’s own teammate and traumatized every chuunin candidate in the village.

“Where’d you meet it?”

“Around.”

“How many people has it killed for you?”

“A few.”

Kakashi didn’t like torture but if he were dealing with anyone besides a clan head’s brat, he’d probably be considering it. “Like those men from the mission with Chikako?”

“They tried to _touch_ me.” Itachi’s voice gained a vicious edge that made him sound years older. “They got less than they deserved.”

Kakashi was inclined to agree. Still . . . “Did Mineo get what he deserved?”

Before Itachi answered, they made it past the outermost maple trunk from the Forest of Death. The Moon was almost over the horizon and the sky was a adopting that deep grey of very early mornings. With the improving visibility, it was easy to recognize Kazue as she rushed forward to meet them. Behind her, ANBU and other jonin shepherded frightened genin to and from harried looking medics who Kakashi knew from experience wouldn't be able to do much to ease the panic left behind by genjutsu. As Kazue got closer, Itachi's hand, which had previously laid frozen in Kakashi's grip, squeezed Kakashi's fingers. Out of fear, regret, or anger, Kakashi couldn't really tell.

"Most people never get what they deserve," Itachi said lowly, not taking his off his jonin sensei.

"Itachi," said Kazue when she reached them, sparing Kakashi a brief glance. "Why?"

"I miscalculated, Kazue-sensei," responded Itachi, pulling his hand away from Kakashi's. "I should've taught Mineo to fear me."

A flash of killing intent made Kakashi's heart skip a beat before Kazue got herself under control. She turned her (red-rimmed) brown eyes on Kakashi. The fact that they were expressionless only made them more unsettling. There were crow's feet on the corner of Kazue's eyes, indicating that she wasn't often without some kind of expression. "You can leave him with me."

"I really can't," said Kakashi, shaking his head slightly. He remembered Mineo's bloody cheeks and wondered if Kazue had been treated to the sight. And what exactly the crow had shown Miho? The girl would have explained it all to her sensei in as much detail as she could.

"That's all right then," said Kazue, nodding to herself. "That's probably for the best." She looked down at Itachi before crouching so that their eyes were level on the same level. "This is probably going to sound petty now," she started with a harsh snort, "but I never liked you very much."

"I know," said Itachi.

"And _that_ right there is why," said Kazue. "You never could resist an opportunity to let everyone know how much you get everything under the sun; how little of a shit you give about other people's opinions. About other _people_. But somehow I never thought you'd turn out to be such a vicious little fuck. I missed a lot of signs, didn't I?"

"Quite a few," agreed Itachi, which made Kazue grimace.

"I got enough," said Kazue, snorting once again. "I knew enough not to get attached so I won't have to look at myself in the mirror every day and ask myself how I could've been stupid enough to love something like you."

"But you will ask yourself why you never had the courage to warn anyone about me, and wonder if Mineo would still have his eyes if you had," pointed out Itachi and really, it was getting hard to be on his side. Ten-year-old or not.

"That's true," agreed Kazue, her lips twisting in disgust. "I'm just a cog in the machine though, and you're the Uchiha heir. I doubt any of the higher-ups would've paid me any mind."

"You're probably right about that much," said Itachi. "Though not for the reasons you assume."

"A part of me grieves for whoever's gonna be responsible for you now," said Kazue before rising to her feet and directing her gaze towards Kakashi. "Tell your bosses to consider what he's done here," she told him. "Ask them to wonder what he'll be capable of five years from now. Or ten. It'd be better for everyone if they gouged out _his_ eyes." Without sparing Itachi another look, she flickered away.

"I'd like to go home now, Mr. ANBU."

". . . I'll take you," said Kakashi, thinking of the number of Root fuckers who'd be sniffing around Itachi for the time being. He thought of his own childhood and the number of people who'd predicted that one day he'd bring Konoha as much death and destruction as he'd brought its enemies.

"Would it be possible to stop by the public baths first?" asked Itachi, looking up at Kakashi with big dark eyes. If Kakashi squinted, he saw just a bit of Obito in the curve of his nose. Maybe. "I do smell . . . unpleasant."

"No reason to spook your mother," conceded Kakashi, reaching up to take off his mask. He almost smiled when Itachi's eyes widened slightly, privately smirking at all the non-sense outsiders believed about ANBU. The masks were mostly a means to hide their expressions during battles and distract their enemies. They couldn't actually mask their identities from anyone skilled enough to sense chakra. "I know just the place . . ." Kakashi had no desire to set foot in the Uchiha compound in the wee hours of the morning with their precious genius heir all bloodied up. It wasn't like that clan was fond of him as it was. "You ever had a massage?"

". . . No."

Then maybe little Itachi would be open to explaining where the hell the crow had come from after someone mellowed him out. "Kid, I'm about to change your life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished! 
> 
> Though this story is far from perfect, I'm actually quite proud of it. It had everything on it that I planned from the beginning and it's a reasonable length. The pacing's probably still off, but it's much better than I would've managed back when I started writing almost two years ago.
> 
> Incidentally, I first planned to write out the mission Chikako briefly described. Then I decided on this because it explained how Kakashi and Itachi first met. Maybe someday I'll write out the other mission. 
> 
> Finally, the idea for the crow I got from my grandmother. She used to tell a story about an evil witch who made a deal with a crow from hell. It'd gouge out her enemies' eyes in exchange for a seed. One day, the witch ran out of seeds, so the bird decided to gouge out the old witch's eyes instead. My grandmother told it way better. Creepily enough, she also owned an honest to God crow as a pet. It used to know the names of everyone in the family. It was a really cool animal, but us kids were terrified of it and partly because of the witch story.


End file.
